Shot For Me

"I could tell that you been crying all night, drinking all summer. Praying for your happiness, hope that you recover." - Drake

So this year....

this year....

This year (as I sit here and shake my head) has been a rollercoaster year for me...one with very few highs.

I feel like all I did this year was eat, sleep, and work work work. Throw in some tears, drinking, and dancing for good measure. That was my year in a nutshell.

The lows -

Despite tons of preparation, I did not do as well as I would've liked on my MCAT. That was like a knife to the gut. I had to re-evaluate my goals and make new plans.....I hate making new plans.....

Money was tight here and there.....I was never in the negatives and never had to borrow or get loans but for my means and what I've always been used to, money got tight on occasion. I learned about budgeting more than ever.

I was single for the entire year. Not necessarily by choice for the whole time but I digress and that's life. I cried a lot...A LOT....mostly at night thinking about my loneliness blah blah blah....and then I'd hear noises and scare myself and wish I had a boyfriend to call. And there was a blizzard and I had no man to go warm the car up and help shovel snow or help re-light the pilot light. I think maybe I've mentioned this in a previous post but this was the first time in a total of 5 years that I have been truly alone for an extended period of time. There has always been a guy, either a friend or boyfriend or someone I'm casually dating to keep me company, go see a movie with, grab some lunch...whatever....and that's not to say I don't still have those options if I want them, I just don't want them. See the last couple of months, I've really embraced being single and it's been really great once I just accepted it for what it was. Realizing that I may never be here in my life again *insert snide remarks from friends about how I'll probably be single the rest of my life here* ....also remembering how expensive and exhausting dating is really helped me get to this point. Seeing friends and their marriage/relationship problems....makes me sorta thankful I have nobody to answer to and nobody else to consider (slightly selfish I know). ANYWAYS, this paragraph took a turn I was not planning to discuss just yet so returning back to the topic of *this year*

**maybe being single has been both a high and a low**

I felt a lot of anger, bitterness, and sadness this year. For various reasons and sometimes for reasons I don't even know. I was close to calling the doc and getting something to lift the spirits - a happy pill if you will - but decided against it. I'm glad I didn't. I'm okay now....

The highs -

I found a church I love and renewing my relationship with God really helped me through all the lows this year.

NYC. NYC. NYC. (you can see my pictures on Facebook)

That's about it.

Anyways, I'm not sad to see 2011 go. I'll be posting soon about the fantastic plans I have for 2012 but I'll give you a hint right now....................................................................................................................

.......I plan to start dating again in January 2012...........