Older

"Seems like nothing is black and white anymore, shades of gray and I feel the weight over my shoulder. It's tough getting older. I always thought that I knew where I'd wanna go, but now I find that I'm still getting colder. It's kinda tough getting older." - Colbie Caillat

That song is such a fitting song for me in my life right now.

I am not a black & white person. I never have been and probably never will be. I mean, yes, of course there are some things that are obviously right and wrong, cut and dry, blah blah blah; but there are so many things that I am able to see both sides on - this is one reason why I have always HATED having to make difficult decisions. My kind of "gray" people are probably very frustrating to the "black & white" people because we probably seem like we can't choose, always wandering down the middle of the road. Maybe that's why I hate politics; for me, it always "depends on the issue being discussed" as to whether I support the Dems or the Reps. To some, I'm considered indecisive....but I say I have a brain and common sense....enough about politics though (I tend to go on random tangents from time to time).

I have been faced with many tough decisions lately; naturally, I can argue both sides and ultimately I am more confused than ever. Again, it "depends" on what the issue is as to whether there may or may not be a right/wrong choice. One example: my professional future. All my life, I was going to be a doctor - except for a brief two years that I was going to be a nurse and then quickly changed my mind back - that's all I've worked for. But, lately I've been faced with a different opportunity that may be more fitting for me but I just don't know. The problem? I feel like I could be just fine doing either one of them. I won't use the term "happy" to describe how I'd feel in one of these careers because I've realized that I'll need more than a career to make me happy. It will depend on what else is happening in my life. But I will say that either choice would be a smart choice and that I think I would wake up and want to go to work in the morning regardless. So at this point, it's in God's hands because I just don't know. And if you know me, you know that I can't stand to not know, to not have answers. Doesn't so much matter what the answer is, I just need one.

On that note, there really is that one verse that I just have to lean on right now...you know the one I'm talking about :) .....

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

I guess that's all for today. I'll save my other issues, like my love life, for another day. Have a blessed week!