Okay - I need to vent. No, not vent. I just need to say a few things. And I pray that if you have teens/young adults or know of any that this may apply to, that you share with them.
Let's face it - times have changed since our parents were teenagers or even our age for that matter. But I remember vividly what it was like as a teenager and the few years after that where I thought I knew it all. I'm not saying I do now, but I certainly know more than I did.
Now, don't get me wrong. I believe there are just some things you need to figure out for yourself; maybe it'll be a mistake and maybe not. Honestly, I couldn't be writing this if I hadn't been there, done that.....But, "learning for yourself" is no excuse to be downright stupid. So.....
DEPRESSION: I struggled with some depression and suicidal ideations in middle school. Not to the point I ever came close to doing it, but enough that I cried a lot and thought about it in my head often. Not even so much the "act" but just "would anyone miss me?" I switched schools in middle school and had trouble with the new friends, or lack thereof. My sister had moved out and basically disappeared, the divorce was still fresh with lots of fighting, especially over money and softball. I had fallen behind due to transferring from public school to private school and the curriculum was far more advanced. I was not neglected or abused, but it hurt - whatever was going on was hurting me. And of course, I kept all this bottled up inside. Didn't even tell my family these feelings until just a few years ago. So what kept me going? My faith and knowing that I had people that did love me, even if it was only a small few; my family. Some people just suck - your peers are mean, especially at those younger "bullying" ages of 11-13ish.....
BODY IMAGE: I don't know many women that are completely satisfied with their bodies so this one is tricky. I struggled in high school, especially Junior and Senior year with my body. And not even just my body, but my awkwardness in general. My hair was frizzy, I had some acne, I didn't know how to wear makeup etc etc. My best friends were these teeny tiny things that always looked good (in my opinion anyways) and it was hard to be next to them. My bangs....oh dear the bangs! Shaking My Head!!! I was one of the taller girls in class which made me insecure because I felt like this huge amazon. I'd like to say I went off to college and suddenly transformed into this skinny model-like perfect thing.....ummm, no. The freshman fifteen? More like the freshman 20-25! Stretch marks? Had them since I was 12 or so from growing 6/7 inches in a year. My skin couldn't keep up with my body and unfortunately I still have those lovely little reminders to this day. But you know what I've come to find out? Do you know who cares about all of these "flaws" I have? Yep, just me. Nobody else. The only one this all matters to is me. The crazier part? The guys (well, most of them) find me attractive....some have even used the terms 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful'. A couple even said 'the perfect body'.....okay, I think that's all stretching it just a bit, but it does make you feel good. It does make you feel a little more confident and care a little less about what others think.....now, with all that said, when I was younger, no guy ever said any of those things to me. I never felt beautiful; not even at prom, when you are supposed to feel beautiful. And it sucked. A lot. Eventually you just grow up and "come into your own" and gain confidence in yourself......
LOVE & SEX: And here we go.....first, teenage/young love exists primarily in the movies. I know of very few cases that have succeeded in real life. The Notebook did not happen, but Juno did. You are NOT "in love" you ARE "in lust." Trust me, I know. Granted, I was not 14 or even 19 years old; nope, I was 21. My thought process? "I'm in my twenties....I'm much smarter than some dumb teenager. I know what love is. And he really loves me." Negative ghost rider. So wrong. The sad thing I learned from that particular relationship? A 26 year-old "man" can be as bad as a 17 year-old boy, if not worse. Teenagers a so stupid when it comes to sex/love. You don't even know who you are or what you want, how can you know who someone else is?!?!?!? Hell, I'm just now learning who I really am and what I really want and believe. There is a huge world to see and tons to learn before you go jumping into "love" and bed with someone.
So with all that said, here are my words of wisdom. It gets better. Life gets so much better after high school. And even after college. It all may suck at the time but you gotta just push through it. You figure out what friendship is and what you want in life and what you deserve from the opposite sex. You learn who to trust. But, I'm not naive; I know kids say "You don't know. You're old. This is different. This person is different. You've never been in love like we are. Parent just don't understand....blah blah blah" - so I'll say this: for the love of Pete, be smart about it! If nothing else, get on some birth control and use a freaking condom! Don't make an innocent baby pay for your stupidity and don't get an incurable disease that will cause you to become sterile, preventing you from having kids in the future when you are truly ready; actually, that might not be a bad idea - if you are dumb enough to have unprotected sex, not sure I want you reproducing. But no matter what the situation is: just pray. Have faith in God's promises. Seek advice. Just be smart. The end.
Watch this video....it's truly amazing and brings me to tears every time, but in a good way - there is nothing God can't protect us from. We are forgiven and delivered from evil.
And just because I love this song......
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